I AM often asked what is counselling'? Especially as a lot of people see it as having rather mystical overtones.

Nothing could be further from the truth and in the simplest terms it is where a counsellor sees an individual in a private and confidential setting to explore difficulties that person may be having in life.

They may be distressed because of a specific event or problem or they may be experiencing dissatisfaction with life, or loss of a sense of direction and purpose.

By listening to the client and gradually building a rapport with them, the counsellor can begin to perceive the difficulties from the client's viewpoint and try to help them see things more clearly, possibly from a different perspective.

Counselling is a way of enabling change or choice or by reducing confusion. It does not involve giving advice or directing a client to take a particular course of action and counsellors will always aim to remain impartial and non-judgemental.

In the counselling sessions, which are generally for one hour, once a week, the client may explore various aspects of their life, feelings and emotions, talking about them freely and openly in a way that is rarely possible with friends or family.

Feelings such as anger, anxiety, grief and guilt, for example, can become very intense and counselling offers an opportunity to explore them, with the chance to make them easier to understand.

The counsellor will encourage this expression of feelings and as a result of their training will be able to accept and reflect the client's problems without becoming burdened by them.

Acceptance and respect for the client and their issues are essentials for a counsellor and with that so too does the trust between the counsellor and client. This in turn enables the client to look at many aspects of their life, their relationships and themselves which they may not have considered or been able to face before.

The counsellor may help the client to examine in detail the behaviour or situations which are proving difficult and to find a way to initiate change which will lead to a better quality of life. The counsellor may help the client to look at the options open to them and help them to decide the best for them.

Subject matters I deal with include stress, depression, loss and bereavement, poor self-esteem, loneliness, isolation, coping with long-term illness and coping with work pressures, to name but a few.

NEXT WEEK Why do diets often fail?

JOHN SAYER