THE vast majority of people, either living with cancer themselves or who have a partner with cancer, find it puts a strain on their relationship, a survey by Cancerbackup and Relate reveals. Advice columnist, Bel Mooney, is supporting a campaign by charities, Relate and Cancerbackup, to highlight the need for more relationship support and information for all people affected by cancer.

In a survey of more than 350 people, 86 per cent said cancer had put a strain on their relationship with their partner. Over two-thirds (72 per cent) of respondents said cancer had affected their sexual relationship with their partner and tiredness, loss of desire and confidence were given as the main reasons why.

When asked how well their relationship had coped with this change, around half (45 per cent) said well or very well but just over a quarter (27 per cent) said badly or not at all.

Half of all respondents said worrying about money as a result of either themselves or their partner having cancer had put a strain on their relationship. Over two-thirds (71 per cent) said the impact of one of them being unwell had put a strain on their relationship and a quarter (26 per cent) said problems at work as a result of having cancer had.

One-fifth (20 per cent) of people felt they coped badly with these strains but 43 per cent felt they coped well.

Bel Mooney, advice columnist, writer, children's author and Relate ambassador, said: "It isn't surprising to learn that cancer has a significant effect on relationships, so closely is it bound up with self-image and how we relate to our partners and loved ones.

"Those who are able to access good quality information on how relationships change with a cancer diagnosis are likely to cope better with the impact - this is why I am supporting Relate and Cancerbackup in their work to see couples and individuals better supported and better informed."

The survey revealed that those with cancer often viewed the effect on their relationship differently to their partner. Partners of those with cancer are more likely to experience emotions like frustration and anger but believe it has less effect on their relationship than the people with cancer do.

The majority (74 per cent) of people found they lost confidence and felt less attractive due to their cancer diagnosis and its treatment and of the two-thirds (67 per cent) that felt this affected their relationship, 85 per cent said it had had a bad or very bad effect.

When asked if their partners' cancer had changed how attractive their partner was to them, one-fifth said yes, and 75 per cent of them said this had had a negative impact on their relationship.

Although only four per cent of the people that filled in the survey broke up with their partner, the survey reveals that the experience of a cancer diagnosis takes a serious toll on relationships.

When asked to assess the strength of their relationship at diagnosis, 71 per cent of people said it was either very strong or strong but when asked to assess the strength of their relationship now, only around half (56 per cent) gave their relationship the same rating.

For a copy of the free leaflet, Cancer, you and your partner, by Cancerbackup and Relate, visit www.cancerbackup.org.uk/relationships or call Cancerbackup's helpline, 0800 800 1234 Cancerbackup is merging with Macmillan Cancer Support on Tuesday.