"Look at her, a prisoner of the gutter,
Condemned by every syllable she ever uttered.
By law she should be taken out and hung,
For the cold-blooded murder of the English tongue..."
'Why Can't the English?' - My Fair Lady

Gode Dai, gentil rederes of my internette blogge!

O swete folke of Kydermynster! Heere ye now my sade lament! Of late, Y haue been soore depressid to heere of the slowe, sorowful deeth of the Englysh tonge... Wait a minute! Wrong century! Chaucerian English isn't much use here...

But you see, according to some clever chaps, the English language as we know it is dying out! As the Telegraph reported last week, within a hundred years everyone could be talking Panglish! Panglish would be a global evolution of our current tongue, but distorted by space and time. And given a silly new name.

It is predicted that by 2020 over two billion people will speak English all over the planet. As time goes on many of the words we use now will become extinct. Meanings will change as new vocabulary and grammar develops. Eventually the language will become as unrecognisable to us today as Chaucer's Middle English is.

What a weird concept! We would struggle to have a conversation with our very own great-great-great-great grandchildren! Well in that case, for any great-great-great-great grandchildren that are reading this blog in the future, please note down the following words which ought not be forgotten: flabbergasted, rambunctious, brobdingnagian, lascivious, barathrum, flagitious, catacombs, marmoreal and viviparous. And that's just for a start, you little ragamuffins...

It's likely that Panglish would fragment over time, developing in unique ways throughout the world. The process is already taking place in many ways. Just consider some of the distinctive dialects within the UK and apply it to a global scale. It has even been suggested that non-native speakers of English would slowly disregard certain sounds which they find hard to pronounce. Before too long a Panglish speaker in England wouldn't be mutually intelligable to a Panglish speaker elsewhere in the world.

And the thing is... all of this has happened before a few times. Latin, as used by those pesky Romans gradually splintered off into what effectively became French, Italian and Spanish.

So the future for our beautiful mother tongue would appear to be very interesting indeed. I just wonder what dearest Geoffrey Chaucer, father of English literature would make of it all...

Ah anyway, fairewel, yow churles o Kydermynster!