MANCHESTER City will fail in their capture of Brazillian ace Kaka from AC Milan. They'd have more chance of exhuming the bodies of some of football's greatest legends and creating their own horribly talented version of Frankenstein's Monster. But whose coffin should they raid?

Let's face it, City are so ridiculously wealthy that its Arabian owners could afford to pay for unethical scientific experiments, the problem they have is choosing which legend they cannibalise to create their new star.

First of all, a player needs a distinct understanding of the game, a 'football brain' you might say.

I'd plump for German winning machine Franz Beckenbauer, a tactically astute and intelligent leader of men.

To house the brain I would pick another German's head to house it, this time from goal-machine Gerd Muller. It seemed designed to place ball into the back of the net.

To compete in modern football you have to have power and Leed United's John Charles mighty upper body would provide the muscle the monster would need to fend off the closest attentions of any defender.

That impsosing frame body would need to be powered by big-heart and England World Cup winner Sir Bobby Moore's would fit the bill perfectly.

The creature will need to be two-footed and there was no better left-peg than Hungarian legend Ferenc Puskas'.

Either foot from George Best would have been good enough, so his right would have to be included.

To inject the monster pace and some trickey you could stick on bandy-legged genius Sir Stanley Matthews'.

There we have it, a player with all the skill, power and determination they would ever need, who would still be slightly better looking than Peter Beardsley and Phil Neville.