ROLL-UP! Roll-up! to the craziest show on Earth, a dipping and diving thrill ride that climaxes on Tuesday, September 1.
I am, of course, talking about the transfer window, the most pointlessly dramatic deadline thing ever (add your own comparison here).
Apart from Sky Sports News, which seems to bang on continuously about it being the 'most exciting window yet', this has been duller than Griff Rhys Jones talking about rivers (I mean honestly, it's boring).
For fans of clubs who aren't Manchester City or Notts County it has been another nervous summer, where you go to bed with the dread that your best players will be sold by the time you turn the television on in the morning.
Until this week, because after months of poker playing by managers they have all roared into action, as if they were weird football loving squirrels motivated to stock up before the impending winter hibernation.
Is it too much to ask to for clubs to do their business in a sensible time frame, so that fans like myself don't pull our hair out trying to divine what's going on using wildly inaccurate fan websites and animal entrails (I pity the cat who wanders into my back garden).
So seriously clubs, stop messing about next summer and get it done earlier.
The blame often falls on the window itself, which is a valid point, but managers still have all summer to actually do something.
So for the sake of the nerves of millions of football fans, please get your transfer business done at a more sensible time.
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